The Cullens get a cat
by the crazy cat lady
Summary: The cullens get a cat
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own twilight cause if I did it would involve more cats.**

**Esme POV**

A car pulled up in the driveway and I smiled knowing that my husband was home at last. He had been later than usual.  
Soon I felt arms curl themselves around my waist. I spun around and kissed him. He kissed me back but then pulled away, unable to keep a smirk of his face.  
"What?" I giggled.  
"Nothing," he replied, amusement in his voice. I turned away and continued my battle to get the house clean. "Esme? How do you feel about cats?" He asked, still smiling at me.  
"Um… they're okay I guess… Why?" I answered carefully, not sure where he was going with this.  
"No reason." He began walking toward the staircase.  
"LET ME SEE HIM!" Alice squealed, rushing downstairs.  
"Carlisle, what have you done?" Edward looked half amused, half horrified. Bella looked up at him confused. My husband pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Alice.  
"He's so cute! What are we going to call him?" She gushed, excited. I came over for a closer look.  
"Um… I don't know. We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet." Carlisle replied.  
"Give it a name that can go both ways then."  
"Why don't we just take it to the vet on Monday?"  
"Cause then he's gonna be nameless for THREE WHOLE DAYS!"  
"So? It won't know that. Anyway, stop calling it 'him', it could be a girl for all you know."  
"Name it now."  
"Alice." He whined.  
"Now. Or um… I'll get Zafrina to mess with you again." He considered her threat for a moment.  
"Awww, kitty." Emmett took the thing from Alice and I slowly made out a tiny grey striped body.  
"Kitty." Carlisle said.  
"What?" Several of us asked at the same time.  
"Kitty. It's name is Kitty."  
"YOU CAN'T CALL IT KITTY!" Alice shrieked at him.  
"You told me to name it, so there we go." He walked upstairs, leaving us to fight for a pat. Edward refused to go near it.

When it was finally my turn to hold the small creature, I saw that it was a grey tabby-looking cat, with white feet and a white face and chest. It was also one of the cutest kittens I had ever seen. Whenever anyone picked it up, it purred loudly, until vibrations shook its tiny body. We all took turns trying to get it to eat, all except Edward that was, who was obviously not happy about us getting a cat. As hard as Alice tried to get it to eat, the only person it would actually swallow anything for was my husband.

Later that night, when we were all siting around then TV, Emmett was hold Kitty, on its back as you would a small child, stroking its belly. Suddenly he cried out "It's a girl! It doesn't have any balls!". The room erupted into cheers. Next came the laughter when we realised that Carlisle, head of the ER in Forks, had failed to notice something like that. He ignored us and turned up the TV, but I could see he was trying not to laugh with us.

As we all went to bed, I noticed even Edward patted Kitty goodnight before going up the stairs. I could heard Bella teasing him. I went up a few minutes after everyone else, only to find that my bed had been taken over by furry invader, who seemed content on claiming my husband to.

The only reason I let it slide was because it made a cute sight.


	2. Chapter 2

"So why do you have a cat…?" Carmen asked incredulously.  
"So when it's raining they don't have to go outside to hunt, dear," Eleazar told her with a smirk on his face. He had apparently already warmed to Kitty. Everyone's eyes were trained on the ball of furry fluff that was asleep on the couch.  
"Because apparently, someone who shan't be named has a soft spot for things which are warm, furry, and easily put inside of their pockets," I told them rolling my eyes.  
"What's her name?" Garrett asked, already holding the kitten. Kate moved away from him, obviously not enticed.  
"How do you know it's a girl?" she asked him.  
"Um… it has no balls…?" he looked as though he was waiting to see if she was going to shock him. Upstairs, the others were in hysterics. Kate shook her head at him, a small smile spreading across her face.  
"Her names Kitty," I told them. Again they giggled.  
"Why?" Tanya looked amused and I thought she had guessed it was Carlisle's doing.  
"Because that person is also terrible at naming things."  
"You're just lucky he didn't call it 'meow meow'," Tanya told me. I nodded, knowing she was right. That was exactly something he would do, most likely to annoy Alice.  
"They would also rather take the cat to bed with them than their wives," I giggled, practically daring him to come downstairs and face the music. It worked.  
"Do I even get a chance to defend myself?!" He appeared at the top of the stairs and looked down at us. We all grinned back.  
"Someone who brings a kitten home and calls it 'Kitty' loses all of their rights," Tanya informed him matter of factly.  
"Ugh." He retreated away from his best friend's comment. She went after him, apparently not done teasing. Alice skipped down and stole Kitty from Garrett before she even greeted anyone. He looked like a child whose toy had just been stolen. I could already see that this cat was going to cause problems and we'd had it only a couple of days.

A while later as most of sat on the couch talking, Kitty got off Alice's knee and got on Garrett. He stuck his tongue out at her. She pretended to ignore him, but I could tell she was mad. Kate looked at me, obviously understanding what it meant to have your husband taken by a fluff ball.  
As if on cue, Carlisle and Tanya came in and sat down. She sat with us while he picked up a book. I shook my head at my anti-social husband and he looked away sheepishly. Within seconds, Kitty was on his knee. Garrett sighed, losing his friend again. He had no chance now though; if that cat could sit on anyone it wanted, it would be Carlisle.  
"Off puss," he said quietly, putting her on the floor and pushing back toward us. As he turned back to his book, she jumped up again, landing onto of the pages and making reading impossible.  
"No Kitty," he tried again. It had the same result. He picked her and walked over to Garrett, putting her back on him. She wasn't having it. As soon as he sat, she was back. By now we were all laughing at his struggle.  
"Kitty, can you not?" He groaned, once again pushing her away. This time she bit him. He swore. Emmett laughed harder. He got up again and put her on the couch, covering her in a blanket. She swam around inside it for several minutes, amused. Soon though, she was back. He jumped as she landed on him, still expecting her to be in the blanket. This time he took her to the kitchen and put food in her bowl.  
She followed him back out.  
"I think she likes you," Tanya said to him. He paused for a minute then dropped the cat onto her lap. Kitty froze, contemplating settling there. When she had realised that my husband had sat down again, she flew toward him and climbed his jeans with her claws out.  
"Why can't you just jump like a normal person?" She meowed in reply. "Off." Again she was on the floor. This time she went around the back of the chair and jumped up onto his shoulder. "Kitty," he whined at her. She was lucky he had a lot of patience or she would have been locked somewhere by now. She waved her tail in his face.  
"If she was a human, she would have just pulled the fingers at you," Tanya smirked. The cat licked him.  
"Don't you smell like fish." He moved her face away from his. Kitty was still perched awkwardly on his shoulder. She did it again. He got up and I thought that maybe Kitty was about to spend her moment in time out.  
Instead, Carlisle walked over to Garrett and pulled his jacket forward a bit. Garrett looked confused about what was happening. Frankly, so was I. He then shoved Kitty down the neck hole. Even though he was annoyed with her, he did it as gently as possible. We all laughed until our sides hurt as Garrett's jumper became alive as Kitty tried to claw her way out. Kate soon discovered that if she poked Kitty through the fabric, she would spin around and attempt to bite her finger. We could then all see her teeth and the shape of her mouth. This game continued until Garrett begged his wife to stop, which she reluctantly did.

Purrs could then be heard as the kitten got comfortable and went to sleep.


End file.
